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Yeah, I know it's been a while since I've updated. I've just been busy.

I'm sick of being swamped with schoolwork, which is why I'm glad that I only have 3 weeks left. I have to go talk to my councilor about taking classes at Macomb either in the Spring or the Summer so that I can get some cheap, quick credits in.

My parents have been getting worse with each day. Now my dad is losing weight and is only just now starting to eat somewhat normally again. I guess he was starving himself for whatever reason. He's always yelling at everyone because nobody will give him money to go get vodka. I really don't know how he can live with himself. Shouldn't he feel some inkling of shame? He hasn't worked a day in his life for about 12 years, he drinks, he smokes, he yells at my mom, and all of his kids seem to hate him (including my half-sisters and especially my half-brother.)

With the nice weather I've been finding it really hard to get anything accomplished homework-wise. I always end up sitting in my backyard just enjoying the sun and looking up at the clouds. It's the only place I can get any peace at my house and I'm really grateful for Spring, this year.

With all of the friends I've made this year, I truly hope that I'll get to see some of them after we get out of school for the summer. And I NEED to start seeing some of my old friends again! C'mon, assholes! Let's quit being so distant!

Current Location: Probably outside.
Current Mood: grateful grateful
Current Music: Sean Lennon - Parachute

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I quit. At life. Seriously, what the fuck. I'm so sick of everything around me. My friends are bums. I don't feel like doing any art. I'm really disenfranchised, here.

Christmas was awful. I got three shirts and two movies. That's it. Nothing else. Then my car quit working and my family came over. Ugh, stupid, stupid relatives. Useless. My dad got drunk. I mean DRUNK. He was yelling at my cousin Andy about how he was the one who got his wife-to-be pregnant. He also kept asking me if I wanted to go smoke a joint. What the fuck kind of father is that? Merry fucking Christmas.

Oh, and CCS cancelled one of my classes, because they're whores, so now I have to rearrange my schedule so that I don't lose my scholarship. What's worse is that there's nobody there until the 2nd.

Also, what the fuck, why don't I have a Wii? This is such fucking bullshit. Christmas is a false pretense. It lures me in every goddamn year, only to shoot me down.

Current Location: asfasfdsadfsafdsafdas
Current Mood: scared Fuck tha PO-lice
Current Music: Goatwhore - Alchemy of the Black Sun Cult

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So today my Illustration teacher decided to submit two of my pictures into the student show for evaluation, so that's pretty alright. I'm actually feeling proud now. I never feel proud.

She's still bat-shit insane though. We had to fill out an evaluation of the class today. It asked us how satisfied we were, what we learned, etc. I hate that class so I filled it out really negativly.

It asked what we liked most about the teacher. I wrote "her hair," which isn't wholly true, because I don't even like it that much. It's kind of a graying Mrs. Brady-esque fro.

Current Location: Here.
Current Mood: pleased Kinda Proud
Current Music: Sheena is a Parasite - The Horrors

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People are so fickle. I think I'm done with them.

These few days off was really nice. I still have a drawing to finish (read as: start,) before saturday. Ahh, I bet it's going to suck! Whatever. It's Christmas, I don't care. I've decided that whenever I get stressed out I'm going to remind myself that it's Christmas. That should help. I also really find it comforting to think of the woods behind my house. I want a picture of how the woods look in winter for my room. I think I'm going to buy one.

Speaking of my room, I asked my mom if we could switch bedrooms and she said she'd think about it. I was kind of in shock. I suggested it half in jest, figuring she'd shoot it down. I said I need more room, which isn't false. A bit of space would really do me some good. At least that way I could do my art in my room.

Also I want a Wii. And some sweaters.

I wish it was Christmas.

Current Location: My (old) room.
Current Mood: busy busy
Current Music: The Black Keys

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I haven't updated this in a while. I've been so busy. I can't tell you how happy I am that it's Thanksgiving already. I'm really sick of my routine and I think I need this break more than I'm even fully aware.

I've been really tired lately. I'm about 99% sure I've had a sleeping disorder my whole life and I finally talked to my mom about it today. She said that I'm probably right, and pointed out that I used to wake up at about 5:30 every morning when I was a little kid, no matter what. I've always been kind of leary about getting sleeping pills, though. I really don't like being on medication. Maybe it would be for the best, though. I don't know.

As a whole, I feel really lost. I don't really know what to do. Nothing has happened or anything, but, then again, maybe that's the problem. I think I need to do something-- anything --to shake stuff up. Haha, sounds pretty dumb, I'm aware. The problem is that I don't know what to do. I get this way every so often. I'm usually a pretty structured person, but after a while the tedium begins to break me down and I feel like I have to break out of it. I used to be really impulsive. I need to get that back!

I think that I've stolen about $200 worth of art supplies from Michaels and the like so far this semester. I'm a motherfuckin' ninja, over here.

So I got Final Fantasy XII, which is amazing. I've put some serious time into that and I'm really enjoying it. I haven't played games in a long time now. I need to get my Castlevania back. I'm going to buy a Wii whenever I see one. Definitely.

Also I've started saying jibba jabba , lately. It's just so versatile.

Current Location: Location? I got no time for this jibba jabba!
Current Mood: geeky geeky
Current Music: Cellador - Leaving All Behind

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I've been bored out of my mind for a while now. With all the homework I've been getting I've kind of abandoned hobbies. Then, this week rolls around and I get practically no homework and I didn't know what to do with myself. I was figuring on getting all sorts of things done and having all this fun, but I ended up just hanging around at my house and vegging out, which, I guess, is probably just what I needed anyway. I've been watching Scrubs and--I don't know if anyone else will get this--right now my life feels like one of those episodes where Zach Braff comes on and says that there's really no story in his life right now and the camera pans to another character who does have one.

Friday was weird, but kinda cool. Julie and I went up to Mott to visit Dworkin, but she ended up practically ignoring us the whole time. I didn't realize it until after the day was over, but I guess I was subconsciously expecting some grand homecoming upon returning to the art room. I was expecting hard-hitting questions from every angle. I was expecting advice. Words of wisdom. I was expecting recommendations and requests. I was expecting too much. Dworkin spent her time looking at books and talking to the principal instead of visiting Julie and me. This bothered me, because, honestly, how many more times are we going to be in that room again? Couldn't she have talked to the principal or sifted through those books any other day?
Her new student teacher is nice. He talked to us more than she did. He has a wife--or so I've been lead to believe--but, I'm still placing him under homo-suspicion. After Mott, Julie, Chris Czapp and I went out to lunch with kim and we got some questionable Chinese food. I never really see or talk to any of them, especially Julie and Chris, so I really have to say that I enjoyed it.

Current Location: a house
Current Mood: blank blank
Current Music: Poison - Bel Biv DeVoe

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So this weekend was not so hot.

Saturday was my birthday (18th,) and I didn't get anything. Not that it's unfair; I didn't ask for anything. I would have liked a cake, though. I was pretty hungry that day. I did see Thanks for Smoking, though, which was really good.

Then yesterday I didn't do anything. I had to make two trips to ACO to get rubber feet for the bottom of table legs, but I don't really consider that doing something. Though I did get to harass Roman. The highlight of it all though was talking to my brother and sister. I talk to my older sister Jenny often, (every month or so,) but it was talking to my brother that weirded me out. It's not like I had forgotten about him or anything, but it had been a while. Most people don't realize that I have two half-sisters and a half-brother, but halfway through our conversation I realized that I didn't realize I had a brother, either. I guess that's what not talking to him for three years brings about.

I'm considering doing something in he way of a birthday party, but I don't know when or what... so, uh, yeah. Who knows?

Current Location: Guam
Current Mood: crushed Wishing I had a cake
Current Music: He Is Legend - Stampede

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This has been the worst week ever. I don't care how fucking whiny that sounds.

Today I had to stare at an old man's junk all day in Figure Illustration and then work until closing. Fucking bullshit. What kind of day is that?

So my mom won't let me quit my job because I "need spending money." I was quick to point out that I don't ever fucking buy anything, and cited the day before as an example, (I spent three dollars on cotton candy and ended up leaving the St. Anne fair to climb on the roof of Fuhrmann,) but she still maintains that I need one. Which brings up the fact that I'm scheduled for 6-10 tomorrow. Well fuck that. I'd rather stick a hot spork in my eye. Besides, I have homework to do. The last homework I had took me around seven hours to get done.

Making matters worse is the whole car scenario. On Thursday my car got broken into while I was in class. I got back from lunch late and decided to park in front of the school in lieu of fighting my way through the parking structure and being late to class. They broke the lock on my door and the steering column, making the car undrivable. They would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for that meddling (well-to-do,) grandmother across the street who yelled at them and called the police. I got out of school and had to get my car towed to a repair shop, where it remains to this day.

Last, but not least, is my stupid, fucking family. My dad's been getting drunk more than usual. He's being really aggro, so I'm expecting a fight. My mom is really close to divorcing him and he has no idea. I hate it at my house. My dad is always finding something to criticize, while he sits at home and smokes and drinks and does no chores and has no job. He's a worthless human being and I've always thought so. I wish he'd just go away.

Current Location: Helen Hunt's ass
Current Mood: sad lost
Current Music: Band of Horses - The Funeral

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I got my first official college homework today. Hooray, right? It doesn't really bother me that I have it, it just bothers me that I have very little time to do it. Technically I have until tuesday to get it done, but it's really starting to dawn on me how little time I actually have anymore. Friday I have school from nine until four, but I also have to leave at about half past seven to get their on time and get a good parking space. Saturday is the same schedule albeit with work from five until nine thirty tacked on to the end of my day. I'm really hoping that I don't get too many hours at work this week. I want to quit. I'm not going to be making much money since I don't have that many hours available to work, so, really, it's not doing me all that much good to be making forty dollars a week. On the other hand I just spent about two hundred on school supplies and I still have to more classes that I haven't been to yet, so who knows how much they will cost for supplies. I need to relax. I think I'm going to take a shower and then finish up the Da Vinci Code, finally.

Current Location: Studio 54
Current Mood: uncomfortable uncomfortable
Current Music: Sepultura - Refuse/Resist

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So we got the car that's been sitting in my driveway for over three years up and running today. It's kinda sketchy so my mom won't let anyone drive it over 40. Also you there's no front or rear left turn signal. And the radio won't pick up stations. And it's missing a hubcap. ...And it constantly veers to the right. But, hey, I'm not complaining! It's uplifting to know that when I total the other car there is something to fall back on.

Current Location: Neverland Ranch
Current Mood: relieved relieved
Current Music: Sisqo - Thong Song

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